WE’RE PLAYING FUNEMPLOYED! (Squad Vlogs)

I’m gonna have to go to the lovely lady. Yay! Thank you 🙂 When do I start? Er, we actually just closed down. We just went out of business. I’ll tell you what I want what I really really want.

Wait what do you want, what do really really want? To play some games with my squad. WOW Today, we’re going to be playing a game called funemployed Er, It’s a card game kind of like Apples To Apples kind of like Bucket of Do Each of us are going to get a handful of cards. 4 cards exactly each one is going to have some sort of adjective. Something that we would put on our resume. Er, we’ve got some examples here.

So nude selfies. That’s something that you put on your resume. So why would that help you get a job? You’ve got to explain that to your employer during the interview Sex sells That’s true. And there’s a twist because the employer then gets to add one thing on your resume to ask you about it. It’s just like when the interviewer googles you and then finds something weird about you.

Like a butt pic from Snapchat. * record scratch *Yeah So why, why was there a butt pic from Snapchat? You know creative choice. Alright you guys since I’m the interviewer I’m going to pick this card.

It’s going to give you guys a job. Awwwwwwwwwwwww yea boi Is she okay I dont kn- Sometimes you’re just craving some crab I thought she was going to say crack. But beyond that lets go. Here we go!

Literally felt the texture on my mouth. School Nurse! Alrighty so starting with you Courtney. As a school nurse, What do you have to offer me? First of all, I have a day job So obviously people like me And want me to be around to be employed with them.

Very responsible. So I studied buddhism. Ooh no, so you peaceful. I’m very peaceful I can handle children when they’ve gotten into a fight at school, but I’m also a hoarder So I keep tons of medical supplies with me.

Which we need their at the school. Yeah good I get this school in particular seems to get a lot of hurt people. I have a chain, so If there’s some troublemakers at the school that are bullying and beating up the kids I can like chain them up, right? But how about you being a raging alcoholic? Um, you know it’s something that I deal with but Also, it’s another thing that keeps me a little loose a little relaxed.

A little loose and relaxed Maybe you’re a little uptight No, no, cuz I’ve always drunk. So I’m just relaxed So when I’m handling the kids. Alcoholism is actually kind of strength for me All right, I’m gonna make this short.

Like really quick for you because I don’t think I’m getting the job (Laughter) Don’t think I’m getting the job That’s not how you go to an interview! Oh okay! I’m gonna get the job. Okay well, I have a red light, like you can see people like if someones mouth, throat is hurting I have this red light to go look inside And I can look at their eyes and stuff and I can look at things you can’t see like the red light is a light, okay? What?

Okay, so we should go to the next one. Wait! No it’s good! So What if you have a light to like- (coughing) my throat hurts, well I look inside it’s a dark ass hole What do you need a red light. You need a red light you’re very mean- It could be a dark asshole too.

You have some probl- Okay, I want think that when Olivia pulls up to a red light she is like don’t look in my butthole (Laughter) Next qualification. I have tentacles. Yeah, I can multi-task and when there’s a lot of people all like coming in and a lot of children, students Then I can help a lot of children. A lot of sick children you need tentacles. Yeah to multitasking I’m hungover (Laughter) So you and her have like a lot in common Well I think when you’re hungover, as for me I feel like I do my I try my best.

Are you a raging alcoholic. No does it say that I’m a raging alcoholic Well I mean, I don’t know you tell me. No I’m just hungover. In her defence she was previously drunk, she’s not currently drunk. Yeah I’m not drunk anymore and you know from my experience, I actually function better.

Okay, good, next question- Olivia’s best videos here are when she”s hungover Noooooo! (Laughter) Also I am a hot mess Yeah, yeah, No nah nah no no no No you are (Laughter) You’re a hot mess, is that your heart, no nah nah no Her eyes are screaming murder right now No I’m a hot like I’m really hot Okay so what are you going to do with a hot dog be one of your qualifications, A hot dog, are you kidding? Yeah I haven’t figured it out. I feed it to the children. Do you eat them yourself? I can eat them myself, I have just an unlimited supply of hot dogs.

Well, you’re definitely not getting the job, you have a bad attitude (Laughter mixed with groans) She yelled at me. I’m sorry guys. Can we just eliminate her.

We have no shame. I didn’t want the job! Granted she did come in saying she didn’t want the job thinking she wasn’t going to get it, but her attitude was just nasty. She was playing hard to get Nooo I just So listen I’m literally the best that you could hire being a school nurse. Unlike everyone else being interviewed I was born on the streets. Oooooohhhh Listen, I know.

I’m not gonna take crap from any kid. You know I like talking about the streets. I care about the streets and the children. I care about the children on the streets. Yes!

And that’s why I’m here Yes! I’m going to make sure there’s no more children on the streets without proper medical attention. Dude (bleep)!

You better run for some damn office Let’s say something really bad happens. Yeah like the worst day right, 9/11. There’s a traffic jam and we can’t get to the hospital We need some other method to get there, okay.

Don’t worry. I’ve got a boat. Ohhhh! We can take a river you’ve got a stream.

Oh, yeah Do you want my job! I’ll gladly take your job. Keep going keep going. I have something better let’s say someone falls down the stairs right? They get hurt.

But they’ve got an assignment to turn it in fifth period. Yeah! They can’t miss school they still need mobility right? Well, I brought a walker. Oh my god! So we can help these children get anywhere they need Listen, we all know that there’s parents in the school system who don’t believe in actual medicines Don’t worry cuz I brought the Holy Grail Ahh!

The holy ghost! I will clean them with God’s light. You should hire me. And what you gonna do with hook Oh!

You want to know what I’m gonna do with this hook. I’m a sing it, and then I’m gonna put like a bridge followed by another bridge (Insanity) Shane do you want to go on me? (bleep) I feel like I just watched an Eddie Murphy stand-up special just ends like ohhhh!

Alright follow him up. Hey. Hey.

How are you. How are you, I’m good, Hi I’m Shane, I’m applying for the school nurse I’m trying to be cool with these kids I don’t want to come off threatening. I want to be funny for them, just like an ugly sweater Yeah!

Yeah! Weren’t for the kids you know yeah. Yeah, and uh you know yeah, but these kids they can get too edgy or tough and like you gotta be like hey! you gotta meter up man.

I need respect But they need love. They do you need love. But why what. I’ve got a claw.

Ohhhhh okay, like a lobster claw You best watch out. So you’re really a psychopath Oh yeah. You scratch. Do not mess around(x2). I can relate to the kids.

They’re learning, they’re stilll getting knowledge, and I understand that because I’m illiterate I still need to learn how to read. People ask me Shane how do you know all this stuff about medical stuff how? I have a medical dilemma. I have crabs And I’ll show it to kids That’s good, I like that I’ll show them the crabs Yeah, so they can know Camera, so I have a camera, and I’ll take pictures of the crabs and the claw That’s how you do it. This is what you can have you don’t listen to my medical advice And you’re gonna get if you talk back Shane, can I’m just say the thing that I appreciate about you, You really care about the kids.

Olivia your attitude you your attitude (bleep) you over Gonna have to go with my boy Noah (applause) The job is reality show contestant Ohh! I’m not changing the damn card you’ve got to have a lot of self-respect. For like ratings and everything you know like comments I’m gonna set up our own personal sex den. Do you know what I mean?

So you know how they have the cameras in the rooms or whatever. The smash rooms. Yeah but beyond that we’ll just have a sex den instead. There will be a lot of sexting I’ll make sure all of the contestants You can’t have phones on reality shows. Well on this one you can you’ll be able to see our text messages Or whatever like our news and like you know. I love that all that good (bleep) Tyrannosaurus yeah, he’s gonna have sex with this as well.

Sexual Tyrannosaurus? Yeah he has sex with us and tickles us It’s weird(x2) but as a reality show we go there We don’t play around. It’s all about sex(x5). Wow. Because sex sells. and dinosaurs Hold on Jurassic Park isn’t that like another on- It’s sexy as (bleep).

Tyrannosaurus sex! Why are you saggy? I mean, I lost a lot of weight I think I’ll be good for people that lose weight that um you know are like thin now but their skins a little bit you know what I mean, I’ll get the demographic of the Simple yeah simple stuff. I love reality television. I’m really into Scientology. Oh Nice.

I’m also very self entitled, so I’m not Telling everybody off and I’m super religious, so I’m self-righteous But when when I’m doing these confessional by myself I’m also self-loathing, so I’m like sad That’s a good turn the more self things you have the more reality star you are So I’m like struggling to. Guys I also am a little bit Cuckoo because I have a secret identity as well Ohh my wow (bleep) That’s some drama waiting to happen. You don’t know who you’re going to get Olivia or freakin Caroline Or (bleep) Mcallistar So why do you have a sawed-off shotgun? I have a sawed-off shotgun because my past was crazy, and I can’t talk about it Ohh If you talk about it you might have to kill someone And then I had a go into Scientology and fix myself, but I couldn’t Listen I think what you need on every reality shows a bread-and-butter character Every season needs someone who just fits the mold you need someone who’s going to be a problem.

So that’s me. I’m shady. There’s trees everywhere, I’m shady, I’m shallow. Ohhhhhh He’s a bad guy I have no shame. Oh, oh and guess what. What?

I’m shaved. Someone didn’t shuffle the deck! Wow, well, you’re definitely sound like the bad guy.

So what’s up a scalpel? That is I run an online a YouTube channel where actually cut open Candy and other small object with a scalpel yeah. I’m that guy. What’s funny is that’s a real channels! Yeah. Okay, so it’s like my name is Pherm.

I’m I come to ‘Merica to apply for ‘Merican reality star So in En- ahhh!gland Where I’m from I am a troublemaker Which is what I know you ‘Mericans like But be careful I I’ve been arrested. So I still have the handcuffs like any reality show You have happy ending That’s is south end But do not worry no one will get pregnant because of it because I should play Is happy ending with no other beginning? So are you shooting blanks or what is the deal with your a heavy flow? Oh (bleep)! Oh you found out!

I am both man and woman. My name is also Barbara This is really tough you guys did really good. Put me on battle bots You know what I’m gonna pick Olivia (applause) You know it’s about time we had some strong female people in reality shows. Oh (bleep) you, I am also female (laughter) Your job is Queen.

Hello. My name is Rocco I’m not know exactly where I’m from my accent goes in and out. Okay I’ve traveled the world a lot When I was in Mexico recently, I was in a telenovela Very good one. He was called (inaudiable).

I’ve been in America a single day, huh and in that single day I made a single dollar I will not say whether it was by Doing a simple day job or sex. I’m just kidding Every great employer, especially quaint which I think I am, has a sloth A little fella that you get advice from you did tickle them underneath their chin And also pray, what do we know and he’ll slowly look at you? Look at the your face He’ll give you the advice you boys looking for, also I have six months to live.

Oh I’m dying very quick by choice What if spitball. Yo just spitballing ah Its spit balling okay? What if we make a horse? Prime minister or even better a sloth I think he liked the idea.

Noah what would you like to go next? Oh, I would love to Listen here okay, cuz I’ve got a vision okay, and no one can (bleep) with this vision. Is it vision?

It’s vision, I got vision Along with the fact that nightly I will have wet dreams. Okay. Know That even when you’re not near me off doing through kingly duties dreaming of you. Dazzlingly inappropriate. That’s it. Yeah Okay, so kind of like charming.

Uh more surprising, past that I’m slimy, but that is just because of the wet dreams. Oh What if you’re usually honest question mark? I would [say] I’m usually honest. So what about the wet dreams that you’re supposedly having for me?

He would lie about that. Would you be lying about it? I’m (bleep) lying about it First to start off I am part of the one percent So I’ve got lots of money all ready to start with but I am on quite a long event But I’m a hipster. So you know I’ve got those modern beliefs. I’m very liberal.

I’m very free You know a lot more about coffee other than people on those best coffees Starbucks And then I’m Mormon so I have morals you know I covered with conservative religion, but it just feels like I’m cool You know I have x-ray vision if anybody tried to come up to us with some bombs I will see it first. can’t Mormons not drink coffee? I never said I drank coffee, I just know a lot about it Here’s another qualification for you.

Ok. Piercing. Yeah, also, I’ve got a piercing Yeah I know you like to go to the den and a lot yeah, so your incidental somebody could be a million-dollar smile Just to show you that I love you. I know what you like. I know what you need I know what you want.

Ok, but then I’ll also give you candy because you like candy you like your sweets We can also do squats together because we eat a lot of candy. I do my squats. Yeah, I know you like your squats You like to do exercise, I’ll do em with you This is kind of bad, but [your] old [your] old queen she had like really sensitive like she had a sensitive nose I don’t so like all the peasants that come up. I won’t have this face every time they come up I would have no sense of smell good love to look at me all the time, okay? How’s this gonna help you, killer moves cuz I can dance my ass off in the bedroom. Ohhhhhhhhh And I relieve you of all your stress King.

All right man, really hard, I’ma go with Keith. Oh We treat you like a king sure. I’m on boy Masseuse Lots of like people masseuses or whatever you want to call them.

They like screw a lot Well, I’ll bring extra money call a prostitution if you want, but I’ll definitely be there to bring in some extra help You’re a happy ending masseuses. Oh my God with my have an addictive personality, and I’m addicted to the job I Just like to do it. Black holes, I’m black, why not and then on top of that I have an STD So I like share a lot of like STD awareness like pro Pamphlets and everything because I like have it.

Which one? Herpes. Oh nice. Classic I have one quick question.

How is being passive-aggressive going to help you During like house calls because for people don’t just straight up rude. I can’t stand em so you have to just like molest em You’re just hella disrespectful, but I’m going to do it like sneakily so it’s just like oh did they just, did they just Okay, I get it. He was right. Do you think I deserve the job? Uh you know I’m gonna go through and you’re the first of the day, so I’ll let you know I’ll come back here to tell me cause I’ll be here. I’ll be waiting.

I’ll be here. Hey hi. Oh hi. Nice to meet you Okay To start you know I’ve got a really good spirit. Oh Good sometimes like I massage them so well they get so freakin relaxed that I have a wheelchair So they can roll on out of there (laughter) So like cause sometimes they can’t, sometimes their just like floppy Yeah I massage, I massage their muscles.

To the point where they can’t even use them and I have affirmative action. Wow that is great. Oh my god It’s a positive and I do my work.

I’m pop. I make us with me What does it mean? It’s to help minority get into colleges. Dude I was literally like affirmative means yes.

I looked at you and said that and that’s the worst look And last but not least. You’re doing real good. Thank you, okay. Thanks I have a sack, and it’s filled with hot rocks. Wow.

(collective wows) A sack of rocks that’s hot. On your resume it says that you’re a black belt And I mean it make sense seeing that you literally bring people home in wheelchairs I mean, that’s why I how the wheelchair in the first place I I put somebody in wheelchair from from my karate, but I’m fit. I’m muscular, and I know the body. I had to be honest you seem perfectly qualified Perfectly, so I don’t even remember who came in first My massage parlor is always open. Wow. So 24/7 you have like a crazy hectic job.

I’m always open for you I’m really into culture and like performing arts and like making the person feel comfortable and learning and stuff so then as they’re waiting there Will be a belly dancing. Wow. That’s pretty cool (Humming) This sounds like a 24/7 club. Kind of but you know we slow the mood down Nice. Because you know when you come here stressed, you’re feeling tense, we give you a blunt wow Wow, I’m really into wearing 3 piece suits Jesus That’s the last one is annoying.

I got a question because you put on your resume in big bold font you put down bipolar I’m just wondering I gotta ask well I’m guess this has to do with me also wearing a three-piece suit because I’m bouncing between me being a really amazing masseuse and also I guess like an author. You know my name’s Glen and I come from Minnesota. I know what you’re thinking, I’m a mediocre assasin (laughter) It’s what I do. You know. I’m not real good at what I do, but I do it the best I can you know so I do have a peg leg, I got that from a stair stepper You know you got your shoelaces untied watch out the way I do is I have been sharpened So when I kill a guy, I’ll stab it right into him and say a time to raise the stakes. Oh You like that one don’t ya Okay, oh, I have a cold black heart.

I have no emotion whatsoever. I can choke you I wouldn’t care I’ll do it, I had a real sad childhood You know my dad and mom, they would go out to red lobster, they wouldn’t bring me I’d be sitting at home playing classic Nintendo. Just doing my thing you know by myself so hMM Yeah, I kill people. Before you came in. Uh actually men in like suits came in and told me something They said you can have a man coming, and he’s gonna want to be a masseuse I want you to know he’s actually an Alien.

Oh yeah. I’m actually an Alien I should have told you that sooner, ah boy, really awkward now? My sad childhoods all a hologram created by the government because I Crash-landed here from Pluto or some crap but I think everybody from Minnesota’s technically an alien You know I’m just gonna have to I’m gonna have to go to the lovely lady (applause) When do I start? We actually just closed down. We just went out of business Guys, the job is psychic.

Hello again so all right. I did not become whatever job I looked for real the king now I am a psychic so first up look at this nice person with hat. I think I should get the job .That is good stuff Because I have my associates degree general studies I did I did it online. University of Phoenix I have some kind of plan.

I’m just playing stupid too though, but I offer some medicine. You know like Molly Come on with it. So you have a good time That’s a son, and I just take you to the next level that is what happens with molly. It says here. You are ambidextrous I did not know it word means.

Oh yeah, I can use both of my hands How do you use that for being psycic Just like writing out there like check some people want me to use my left hand, and I know that before they even you know ask. They’ll be like how you know I’m offended by right hand. Yeah dude, this is my job, this is what I want This is what I deserve, give it to me. This very good. Yeah, so first thing. I know when the apocalypse.

Oh But I’m not going to tell you unless you hire me that’s like a cool ide. I’m not going to tell the company I’m interviewing for until I’m hired and then I got the sweet the sweet beef. At least can you tell me how it happened no? I just tell you I know it’s coming in you know I like to think you saw what happened People are going to put too many of those sponge dinosaur things you put in the bathtub in the ocean They’re gonna spill out and its just going to suck up the whole ocean okay Okay, I got loose morals. I’m deaf in one ear other senses including my sixth sense are heightened I’m such a good psychic.

I will drop some crazy (bleep) on you. It will be like a mic drop situation You’re gonna marry a rich man. Now tell me I you said you have daddy issues on your resume.

Uh you know my dad Didn’t really like that I was psycic, he was never really around so he never really told me that probably being psychic But I kind of like felt that You know I kind of just like knew, so I became very independent so you know I’m an independent worker I don’t need somebody holding my hand. How does your feel now. Sorry, I’m not part of the interview. Oh you’ll see I he dead whoa. That (bleep) hurts I think I have psycic powers right. You think you do?

I know I do, They all said I wanted to be I want to be a psychic by the way. Oh Wow Okay, I you aren’t even in the room when I entered here so you clearly heard through wall Okay, so I’m kind of old because I’ve been around for a while So I have a cane and because I’ve been around for a long time And I was able to see a lot of fabrics that we wear our not vegan. Whoa. I started my own vegan underwear line That’s awesome Because I’m old psychic and I have this you know amazing business I’m able to get a private jet therefore And you we can travel around to go see our clients and tell them their future instead of doing it over the phone And also when we see their future, and we see something bad that’s going to happen to them.

I have the antidote That will reverse it Open up that window. What is the deal with liberal? Liberal, well since I’ve been around for so long and I have a vegan underwear line I’m a pretty liberal psycic. That private jet takes up a lot of fuel that is not good for environment that seems very- remember when I told you I was able to like foresee the future I was able to foresee the future of like how we don’t have we don’t live in a wasteful environment So I have an eco-friendly private jet. I have to be real honest I do not understand Why are you quitting your luxurious life for twelve dollars an hour psychic? I want to help people, okay?

Listen I’m ripped, I got a club. Whoa. Right.

Like an actual club like they say on that club for beating and I’ve also got some bad luck Now normally this would lead me into bad situations when I was young But every time that I would get my ripped clubbed body out there and end up in a bad situation Where something bad would happen I’ve always had the perfect alibi And that’s because I know what was going to happen I knew after the experience what the cop wanted to hear I was able to Them through my bad experinces and my bad luck mold myself into being a deciet what the true path is. You sound like a sociopath. Yes Effectively, yes, perfect. It’s really great. What is the deal of yoga pants? I’m ripped So I really enjoy having people stare at me.

That is super awesome. Yes, wow. You’re great You’re all really good people.

I mean probably not, but first I kick I have to go the Vegan Tony stark over here (applause) Guys, you know what that means. Olivia won another card game! We suck at it. She is back in the game.

Her streak is back on yeah, oh This game was so fun Please leave in the comments other games you want to see us play if you want to play this again Yeah, we’d love to play this again right. Sorry you don’t have a job shane. I don’t want one Bye

Best Strategies for Blackjack, Craps & 2 More Games with Michael “Wizard of Odds” Shackleford

Hi and welcome to our instructional video that is designed to make you smarter gambler. My name is Steve Bourie and on the author of the American casino guide, which is the number one bestselling book in the US on the subject of casino gambling and travel and the only book that comes with more than one thousand dollars in casino coupons. If you want to know more about the book, be sure to visit our website at Americancasinoguide.com and if you have an iPhone or iPad be sure to download our free app just go to the app store and search for American casino guide.

In this video, Michael Shackleford, who is also known as The Wizard of odds and the author of gambling 102 gives a quick rundown on the best strategies for playing for popular casino games, blackjack craps, mississippi, Stud and sick bro. Now here’s michael Shackleford blackjack is one of the best.

That’S on the casino. If you remember just one thing about blackjack, it should be to never play 625 blackjack, referring to how much a black chick peas always insist on the full three to two up other than that. You should still hunt around for good rules, the fewer the decks, the better it’s good.

If the dealer stands in a sauce 17, it’s going to go into laughter, split surrender is places, but if you remember all that just remember never ever ever play 625 blackjack, I’m gon na go over with you, my simple wizards basic strategy to blackjack. This is a little different than the standard basic strategy, but this is much easier to remember and as almost as good, first of all, if you have 8 or less points just hit, if you have nine points, then we got ta talk about small cars and big Cards, if the dealer has a small card showing up meaning it to through a6, then you double. If the dealer has a big carte menu 7 through an ace, then you just hit it with 10 or in 11.

Then you double down. If you have more points than dealer, for example, if you have a 10 nuff, the dealer has a9 or less. If you have an 11 and a dealer has a $ 10 or less, then you double down with a 12 to a 16 which you’ll see all the time stand. If the dealer has a small cart hit, if he has a big heart now, let’s talk about the soft hands, those our hands, were you haven’t a senior hand if you have a soft, 15 or less just always hit if you have a soft 16:02 18 double, If the dealer showing a small cart hit, otherwise, if you have a soft 19 or more than just and now, let’s talk about splitting, if you have a pair of to use, threes, sixes, sevens or nine’s split against the dealer small card, if the deal has up Big card then revert to the hard total strategy.

I just went over if the dealer, if you have a pair eights or aces, always split on and you never split, fours fives or tense.

Finally, if there’s one situation, you should surrender is 16 against the 10 surrender that that’s gon na get you almost to the full power, the much more complicated basic strategy. The house, a mansion blackjack, can range anywhere from 0.2 percent to 0.8 percent, assuming they pay 3221 blackjack. The dreaded 625 has a house advantage about 2 percent plank 625. Blackjack would be like paying twenty dollars for a gallon of gas up and for comparative purposes. Right now, its $ 3.50, a gallon for more information about black checker, any casino game.

Please visit my website was it a botched, a comp where I have the Wizards, simple blackjack strategy that I just went over. Casinoslots is also one of the best bets on the casino.

The rules are a little bit complicated, but um just remember this.

The four best bets are the pass, don’t pass com and don’t come and always back those up with are the maximum odds that you’re comfortable, taking avoid all the sucker bets in the middle, the table just stick to those line. Bats. Most casinos here in Las Vegas. Allow what’s called three 45 times odds.

That’S how much you can bet on the ONS.

If that’s the rule, then the combined house and manage between the pass and the ONS is 0.37 percent and laying odds on a three four five times table up the house and manage between the don’t pass and odds is 0.27 percent. So the odds are a little bit better on the so-called dark side: betting that don’t hassling the ONS, but what’s most important, is just avoid everything in the middle the table there all sucker bets stick to the line bets and the arts mississippi’s the new casino games Out there place kinda like the old, let it ride instead of pulling back your money. Has your senior cards, you can add more money.

If you have good cards, what you win is based solely. On your own hand, the dealer doesn’t take any cards at all and at the house advantage of things considered, as 4.91 percent am just gon na, go over real quickly. The strategy with your first two cards at the first decision point you should make the big raise if you have any pair, if you have one high card where high card is a jack to an ace, then make the small one time, sir, and he raise, if You have to medium cards and median carding.

A six through 10 make the small one x rays or if you have 65 suited the I’m strategy for the other decision points on my website, wizard about Starcom, and if you see any side bets on the game, avoid them all side.

Bets are sucker, bets sick, but was perhaps the oldest casino game out there it’s a little hard to find in the United States, but it’s all over the place in Macau. It’S based simply on the role of three dice, there’s dozens of different ways. You can bet on the outcome, but there’s only two good bets on the whole table: the small in the big, the small wins.

If the toll on the dice is $ 10 or less, the big wins at the total is 11 or more both the even-money. However, they both lose if the. If the three of a kind is rolled house manages 2.78 percent, every other bet on the table is a sucker bet.

They carry very high house images and that’s on you know about 600.

If you want to know more about me or about how to play any up hundreds, a different casino games, please visit my website, wizard odds, dot com or you can buy my book gambling. 102. Don’T forget that you can see more of our educational gaming videos on our YouTube channel: let’s go to YouTube dot com, slash American casino guide;

“I want to compete with the best”. EPISODE 3 | Jonas Gjelstad – Professional Sports Bettor

Money is a tool, just like a handyman needs like a hammer to work. If I don’t have money, I don’t have any tools. I turned 10k into a bit over a million dollars. My name is Jonas Gjelstad and I’m a sports bettor previous poker player, basically trying to figure out what I want in life.

I need to be able to separate working money and spending money because you know, as you move up the stakes you play for big money and then you can be like. Oh, you know: that’s just only like a couple of big blinds, so I just kind of buy that and I’m going to buy that and some people become a bit blind on the money, because they’re used to having such a big swings all the time. I feel like I was always pretty good to separate what was working money and what was spending money I feel like.

I always respected the value of money and also, for example, I’ve never bought a car because I’ve never needed a car. I’Ve been living in big cities, I’ve been traveling, so much and cars are decreasing in value, so I’m better off just taking Ubers or you know getting around it somehow and tried to put my money into real estate instead of buying a Lamborghini and showing everyone. Hey look at me. I got money. I never had that like .., but I think also having a significant amount of money.

You should take then a bit less risks because it’s actually like it means something. It’S money that you that you care about. Obviously you care about 100k, so I’m not saying that, but I’m in my twenties and I want to create freedom for myself, and I know if I’m going to be like the best and competing with the best and knowing my max potential, I would need money to Like be able to create and do things I would like to do later on in life, I’ve been having a lot of fun in the summer been going to Ibiza, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, some festivals in Norway, and you know, in order to be motivated, you also Need to reward yourself – and I think that’s an important part of the game Money can only do so much money, it’s like a tool to give you freedom and I think it’s important to also use that freedom and don’t be too caught up in the work. Obviously, you need to be focused about your work, but there’s nothing wrong with taking like a week off every now and then and just like this is what I can do. This is how my future is going to be like, and then just remind yourself like.

This is what you work for.

Understand and Beat the Odds – Craps for Beginners

Understanding the odds in craps is fundamental if you want to win more at the game. Today we cover the possible dice combinations that can be rolled which is really what craps is based on -the true odds. Ok, lets get into it.

Intro Lets take a minute and talk about the dice first. Craps is played with two dice. These aren’t your typical board game dice.

They are large 19mm or almost 3/4 inch – precision cut cubes. They are perfectly weighted and calibrated to ensure that every throw of the dice has a random outcome. They are also transparent so that weights can’t be hidden in them to effect how they roll.

These dots are called “pips” with each side having from 1 to 6 pips. You’ll notice when you add two opposite sides of each die, the total will be 7. One, Six…Four, Three….Five, Two – I’m not sure how thats actually helpful good trivia i guess… The two dice thrown together have a total of 36 possible outcomes or combinations. Two, commonly called snake eyes, There is only one way to roll a two. There is also only one way to roll a twelve, or you might hear it called boxcars. There are two ways to roll a three.

Wait a second, isn’t 1/2 and 2/1 the same? Actually no, Lets look at the dice. it could come up with a 1 and a 2, or a 2 and a 1, it is in fact, two different combinations or possible ways to roll a total of 3. Now Seven has the most possible combinations, and thats why the game is based on, or revolves around the number seven. Its the easiest number to roll. There are 6 different ways to roll a seven.

There are 5 ways to roll the six and the eight. 4 ways to roll a five or the nine. 3 ways to roll a four or the ten. 2 ways to roll a three or eleven.

and we already mentioned the two and twelve, with only one way to roll those. By knowing how many ways to roll a number, you can calculate the odds of rolling any number before the seven is rolled. If there are 6 ways to roll a 7 and one way to roll a 2 or 12 – The odds are 6 to 1 (6:1) 6 ways to roll a 7 and two ways to roll a 3 or 11 – The odds are 6 to 2 or you can reduce that, 3 to 1 (3:1) 6 ways to roll a 7 and three ways to roll a 4 or 10 – The odds are 6 to 3 or 2 to 1 (2:1) The 5 and 9, both have 4 ways to roll those numbers so the odds are 6 to 4, or reduced, 3 to 2 (3:2) And last, the 6 and 8, both have 5 ways to roll, so the odds are 6 to 5 You’ll want to memorize the amount of ways you can roll a certain number.

This will help you determine how good your chances are of rolling a certain number and what the probability of winning a bet versus losing a bet is. Lets see what this looks like in the game. The come out roll, remember the 7 and 11 are winners, 2,3 and 12 are losers, any other number establishes a point. So, 6 ways to roll a 7, 2 ways to roll an 11 for a total of 8 ways to win. added together there are 4 ways to lose with the craps numbers, 2,3 and 12- so on the come out roll your chance of winning is 8 to 4, or its twice as likely you will win than lose. You have a big advantage on the come out roll.

Lets say you don’t win or lose but instead roll a point number. Lets go with the point of 6. Now a 6 will win, and a 7 will lose. six ways to roll a 7 vs five ways to roll a six, so the odds are 6 to 5. You are now at a slight Disadvantage to win your bet. There is still a pretty good chance to win and this is why the 6 and 8 are the most common numbers people bet on.

Lets say the point is instead a 10. six ways to roll a seven vs only three ways to roll a ten, so the odds are six to three, or reduced, 2 to 1. You are now at a large disadvantage. The 4 and 10, because there are only 3 ways to roll them, it is twice as likely that you will roll a seven and lose your bet. What we have covered today are known as the “true odds” Now this is key, the casino doesn’t pay you based on the true odds of rolling the number.

They pay less than true odds and this difference is called the house advantage or house edge. I’ll cover this more in depth in my next video, but for now, just now, some bets you get paid closer to the true odds, or this bet you would say has a low house edge, some bets pay very poorly vs the true odds and has a large house edge. How the casino payoffs each bet is really important, and you WILL want to learn them.

One more thing to keep in mind, probability is a Theory, not reality. Mathematically speaking, yes, 6 times out of 36 rolls or once out of every 6 rolls a seven is going to show up on the dice throw. If you rolled a million times this would be very close to the truth. BUT, Gambling is about the short term, you might roll 10,20,30 or even more times without seeing a seven. This is whats known as , Beating the odds, and when you can win big money and begin to color up with craps. I hope this helps you understand the odds, or the chance to roll a winning number, In the next video we will cover the house edge.

Top 5 Mobile Slot Games

Slots are a tough game to innovate in. You have some rows, some columns and the number of lines. Add in a spin and you find that there’s not a lot more to slots overall. Coming up with new and innovative ideas within the slots genre is hard and especially impressive when someone manages to crack it. Because of the pressure this entails, we thought we’d celebrate some developers imaginations with our list of the top 5 slot games

Dazzle Me

5 – First up is the recently released Dazzle Me. Dazzle Me doesn’t add muchin terms of features. In fact it adds nothing at all, but shifts around the layout of the slots, turning the certainty of your spins on their head. Instead of a usual 5×3 reel layout, Dazzle Me features a 3x3x4x4x5 layout. Your chances of creating lines are increased due to the increased number of reels, whilst the potential combinations of icons are much more unpredictable and exciting. Combine this with Netent’s trademark Wild Reels and twin spins dropping in at random, and you have a game that aims to deliver on surprises.

Slingo Riches

4 – It’s been a tried and tested rule in business that combining ideas is a good way to success. Tablets and computers create tablet computers, sweaters and vests create sweater vests, Bulldogs and Shih tzus create… well you get the idea. Slots and Bingo are the big winners of mobile casinos, so of course they were combined to create Slingo. See what they did there? Slingo adds the excitement of slots with the tension of Bingo. You start with a set number of spins and a bingo card. You spin in order to create lines of numbers, which if they match up to your bingo card, get crossed off like regular bingo. If you spin joker head then you’re given the chance to personally cross off certain numbers of your bingo card in order to complete as many lines as you can. It’s hectic, random, with a touch of strategy; it brings all the excitement you could ever need in a casino game.

Diddly Diddly Dosh 2

3 – Irish themed slots are probably the most common trend in casinos. It seems an Irish slot is as necessary as a gambling commission licence in order to operate a mobile casino. It’s surprising then, that one of our top innovative games bears an abundance of both leprechauns and clovers. Diddly Diddly Dosh 2 doesn’t innovate in its main game, but instead offers many different minigames within the slot itself. If you manage to spin 3 clovers, then you get to play a bonus minigame where you have to capture as many clovers as possible by timing your click to gain more prizes. You can even gain special clovers by timing your stop correctly. On top of that, if you manage to spin a (triple d 2) DDD2 icon, then the game takes you to a board game section where you spin a reel to land between prizes. By giving the player a constantly changing game experience: from spinning slots, to then having to use their own quick reflexes to catch clovers. It adds a lot more player concentration and investment to what otherwise could have been just another Irish slot.

Gonzo’s Quest

2 – We’d be lying if we said we weren’t suckers for nice looking slots, and Gonzo’s Quest certainly satisfies our shallower side. Starting with a CG trailer that sets up the story of the game, along with a wonderfully animated model of Gonzo reacting to your spins as you play, this slot was already trying hard to distract us from the game itself. Thankfully there is a good slot game here also, so you get spoiled twice over. In a similar vein to games like Candy Crush, Gonzo adds in the ability to make chains to your spins. Whenever you spin, if you have a line, that line doesn’t simply get accepted and then spun again. Instead the blocks smash apart, dropping in more blocks that may also create a line and smash apart, letting in even more blocks. In this way, the game can chain together ridiculous combos of lines beyond what you originally span. Charming Gonzo aside, its hard to care what he’s doing when you’ve got a series of chains making you money because of one simple spin.

Greedy Goblinz

1 – This release is from only last week, but already it’s caught our eye. This is such an original slot, that it’s hard to even call it a slot at all. The game has a similar system to Gonzo’s Quest, in that you can chain together combos after your original spin. Unlike Gonzo though, this slot doesn’t use lines but instead involves Goblinz that eat each other. Goblinz can only eat Goblinz that are above them, with the unfortunate elevated critter falling into the open mouth below. Only bigger Goblinz can eat smaller Goblinz, so with every spin you need to have the larger Goblinz placed directly below smaller Goblinz. Once a Goblin eats 2 Goblinz then it explodes and secures you cash. One simple spin can create a horrible cascade of Goblinz falling into the open mouths below  them and being swallowed whole, before their eater then explodes from fullness. It’s a much less family friendly scene than Gonzo offers, but sadly we just can’t pass up an interesting slot concept, so, sorry (close up of Goblin being eaten and screaming, then exploding).

More slots game you can find here : www.casinoslots.co.nz/lucky-nugget-casino-review

Have Fun!!!

 

Casino for Your System

There is almost no doubt that the advent of online casino has changed the world of casino to a large extent and with the passing of each day almost, people are becoming its aficionados increasingly. But even after these, only a few people can be found to remain acquainted with its different aspects and this pains substantially, without a shred of doubt. Let me ask you one thing. Do you know that online casino games can be downloaded and played on your computer? Perhaps not, even though this is one of the greatest realities and a major source of enjoyment these days. Never forget that online casino slot games can’t be enjoyed to your heart’s content devoid of downloading.

What are the benefits? On one hand, you can take delight in the excitement exclusive of having to leave your own residence. On the other hand, a number of games can be played in the multiplayer mode, together with friends or family wherever in the world, bringing the Internet into play. Is there any need of money? Well, it does depend entirely on you to use real or fake money.

How should you start then? At the very outset, find out and select the games you want to play and this can be done without hassles by means of globally acclaimed search engine Google. The next step is to type words like download online casino game in the search box and this endeavor will bring forth lots of pertinent websites almost instantaneously. Try to be more cautious from now, as you have to opt for the most apposite game. Make sure that you check out any system requirements meticulously. You may find out that it is necessary to install flash player, Java, or.NET components. Try to do the same only after consulting with any veteran.

Thanks for reading this article, I hope, you have learned something new. I really enjoy sharing my passion with you. Be sure to check other articles about games and casino. Stay tuned for new materials. Be responsive with your game and your money, Good luck, and don`t forget to have fun!

Casino Good Guys

Let me start by telling you who the good guys are in the casino. Actually they are all good guys (and gals); remember the casino is a vacation destination and designed for you to have fun. It is an entertainment venue (an “Adult Disneyland” if you will).

Anyway what I was meaning to say is, let me tell you who is on your side… the dealers, the cocktail waitress, the Keno runner, the change gal (or guy), the bartender, the bell hop, the valet parking attendant, and the maid just to name a few. All of these good folks are just working at their job, which is to make your stay more enjoyable, and most of their income depends on tips from you the customer. They love to see you win, because the more you win, the more they make.

So, if the service is good, tip, if the service is great, tip more, and if the service is great and you are winning, tip even bigger.

I for one, like positive MOJO when I am playing so I get the dealers in the game right up front. I also make sure that I take good care of the cocktail waitress for obvious reasons. While I usually don’t drink alcohol at the tables, I seldom get thirsty since the cocktail waitress always makes sure I am well taken care of.

Now on the other side of the ledger, there are the corporate guys and gals…the General Manager, the Casino Manager, the Floor Manager, and the Pit Boss just to name a few.

These Guys (and Gals) make the rules, set the policies, and watch out for the casino’s money. They are easy to identify; they are the ones in suits (always thought that kind of funny…in a tropical or desert environment, these guys running around in dark suits and ties!). Anyway, they are the Casino.

Now that doesn’t make them bad guys (or gals), as a matter of fact, most of them are pretty good people, and make it their job to engage with you and me the customer (gambler), even to the point of striking up friendships.

They don’t mind seeing you win on occasion; winning a little keeps you coming back for more. And they know in the long run the house always wins anyway.

For the most part they are fair and honest, and usually will rule in favor of the player on something that is in doubt. But unlike the dealers who are just there to do their job and collect a paycheck (and tips), “The Suits” are accountable for the profit and loss of the tables and the casino. And at the end of the day, they are really NOT on your side.

And of course, let’s not forget the unseen, seeing all, “eye-in-the-sky”. I don’t think those guys (or gals) are on anybody’s side, they are watching players and employees alike. This is actually a good thing, since they tape everything. If there is ever a really big dispute, the tapes don’t lie, and they help keep the cheaters out of the game, and that’s good for all of us.

Read More

If I Win The Lottery Today

I’m taking a break from all my Hong Kong posts and figured I’ll venture into the personal category for the day. Now, if I were to win the lottery or quick payout casino today, then just how much would I be able to take home? PHP 52,000,000. That’s how much I’ll be able to take home. Now, what would a 20 years old girl like me do with that much money, you ask? Funnily enough, I kept thinking of scenarios like this up – even if I don’t actually place bets for the lottery! Haha! This is what I daydream about. I thought it’ll be fun to share so here it goes.

The first thing I’ll do is buy a new car for my grandfather (2M). My Dad used to drive me to and from school even up to college. It was very rare in college but when I was in elementary and high school, it’s almost once a week even if I have a service in high school and my elementary school is like ten minutes away. I think it was his way of spoiling his first granddaughter so this would be me giving back.

Next thing would be to start a college fund for my brothers (3M)I would also set up a college fund for my little cousins (3M). Education is really important, no matter what those articles in the internet that says “Steve Jobs didn’t graduate college so you don’t need to, as well!” Load of bull.

For the future, I would be setting aside money for my parents (10M), my own savings (7M), my brothers (4M) and other relatives (2M). This would all be on each other’s names so they’ll have total control but my brothers can’t touch their money until they’re 21. Mine would be invested so it can grow while it’s not being used. Whatever my parents want to do with theirs is their choice. The ones for my relatives is to make sure there’s an emergency fund for anything and to just generally help them out with life.

I would also be starting a business with 5M. I’m not sure yet what it would be exactly, but my parents are seeing promises in the transportation side. Maybe own some jeepneys. Buy a few cars for UBER and GrabCar. Or maybe venture into food. Then Papa can come home and just help us manage this business and rest.

For something more permanent, I would be buying a house for our family (7M) and a condo unit for me (2M). I like the idea that no matter what happens, there would always be a home waiting for me and my family. That there would always be somewhere to go. I want it to be big and in a peaceful enough environment for my brothers and I to grow up in and for my parents to rest at.

I would then jumpstart my ultimate life goal and travel the world (3M). I would be bringing some friends to Asian countries. My family would be visiting some America states with me and I’ll be backpacking Europe. #YESPLEASE

Lastly, I would be doing some donations. I would be giving back to my elementary, high school and church (1M). You don’t need money anymore MAPUA, so I’m skipping you. I still love you, though! I would also be donating to World Vision (3M). If you guys don’t know, World Vision sends underprivileged kids to school. We sponsored a child or two during our high school and it has been a really nice feeling when he send back a letter and told us about what he’s been up to and his education.

That’s it! That’s PHP 52,000,000! It’s roughly $1,200,000, by the way. Not really a huge amount of money if you think about it. Now, if I won America’s Powerball lottery (which was $1.6 BILLION), then I could donate more than half of the money, do whatever I want, provide for my entire extended family, donate to cancer research and have more than I could ever find a use for.. That’s probably not that interesting to write or imagine about, but would be really sweet if it happened in real life. Haha!

What would you do if you win the lottery?

Pinto Art Museum

I’ve never been to an art museum. Ever. Until now. The events that led me to plan this trip to Pinto Art Museum was actually seeing my colleague’s photos of the place on my IG and FB feed. And they are just so beautiful. Which led me to Google… and the rest, as they say, is history. My trip has been delayed for a few times because of work but my friends and I finally stepped foot on the place last Saturday, September 19.

Picture quality is low, but hey, what can you do?

Processed with VSCOcam with s2 preset

Pinto Art Museum is located in Antipolo, Rizal – just more or less an hour away from the busy streets of EDSA. It’s kind of a hidden gem since it’s not located in the main roads and that adds to its charm. This unassuming museum actually has five galleries – if I’m not mistaken – and only costs PHP180! (PHP150 for seniors and PWD; PHP100 for children and students.)

Never Have I Ever: 7 Things I’ve Never Done in this Lifetime

I’ve been really behind on making blog posts. That’s because I’ve been working on something that I will hopefully blog about within the week. In the meantime, I hope to introduce myself more to you guys in way of this blog post. Without further ado, here are the 7 Things I’ve Never Done in This Lifetime.

1. Never have I ever drank coffee.

They say there are only two kinds of people in the world: the ones who are addicted to coffee and those who wouldn’t even want to get near it. I’m the latter. I don’t even like the smell of coffee; I don’t know why. I survived on soft drinks and energy drinks when making my college capstone (more known as thesis), while my teammates drank cup after cup of coffee.

2. Never have I ever been to a date.

I think this makes me sound lame. 20 years old and have never been on a date. I’ve been on dates with friends, family, and myself; I even became a third wheel for friends but never on a date date. Maybe I should add this to my bucket list… LOL.

3. Never have I ever travelled alone.

I have this fear of somehow ending up in a ditch somewhere. I’m planning to change this and soon, I hope. I think this is just one of those things that I have to do for no particular reason. And, yes, this one’s already on my bucket list.

4. Never have I ever done any water-related activities.

Except swimming. I’ve never snorkeled, ride a banana boat, helmet dive, cliff dive, dive, etc. Mostly because I don’t know how to swim – I only know how to float enough to not drown. Haha! Another is because I have terrible eyesight without my glasses.

5. Never have I ever seen a waterfall.

I don’t really know why I haven’t seen a waterfall. If my family goes to a trip that involves a waterfall, I’m either a. sick, b. have school/work or c. way too busy to go otherwise.

6. Never have I ever liked marshmallows.

Yes, they are fluffy and they are cute. But I don’t want them in my ice cream or near my hotdogs. That is all. Thanks.

7. Never have I ever eaten any seafood except for fish.

Despite my family’s numerous tries, I still don’t eat seafood (except for fish). My reason for this is really weird. I just feel like they’re still alive since they’re still in shells and stuff. Like I said, really weird since I love lechon and fried fish.

This is also a good game to play with your friends. I think this was originally a drinking game? One person will say a “Never Have I Ever…” statement and if you (and other participants of the game) has done that statement, then you will have to take a shot (or something.) Please note that I neither confirm nor deny if I have played this game in real life. (My parents read my blog sometimes…)

This was a fun blog post idea. I had fun making it. Let me know if you have something like this up in your blog; link back to me, or comment the link down below. I’d love to read it!

So, what’s one thing you haven’t done in this lifetime?